A Note on Breathing
I am always amazed how my oldest child has a new way to breathe. The one she seems to like the most is “hot chocolate” breathing. She takes her hands and places them around her imaginary mug full of warm hot chocolate. She inhales the pleasant “aroma” of dark chocolate and then gently blows away, across the top of the imaginary mug, the “hot steam.” It’s very cute and it sometimes has us making a real cuppa! She has other ways too. There is “soup” breathing and “belly balloons.” Typically, I learn about her new methods every time we need to use it for regulation. My child will have a moment where she needs to self-soothe or we both may need to take a moment. I will suggest that we do some breathing and she will chime in with her preferred “method.” This activity helps us to reengage with our task and before long we can be out back out to play! It is becoming well known that during times of heightened emotion, like feeling very anxious, that it is a good idea to take a deep breath. The plethora of fun and silly breathing techniques my daughter is skilled with is testament to that!
Put simply, our body wants to breathe fast because it senses a threat, and when we can intentionally slow our breathing it tells the body that things are okay. Also, there are many therapists out there that would say it is not just about taking any kind of deep breath. Rather, they would advocate for belly breathing, prioritizing the inflating and deflating belly over a rising/falling chest. Some would take it further and combine this style of breathing with progressively focusing on different parts of your body. This is often referred to as a form of grounding and can be extremely helpful when unwanted rumination has you feeling like you are about to take flight.
There is one key thing that I like to point out about using practices like this when feeling strong emotion. It is better to practice these when you are not in an intense emotional state. Waiting until emotions are high is often not the best time to implement a new skill, if you can even remember to do so. It can leave you feeling as though the exercise has little effect. Instead, it is better to practice this on a regular basis so that the process becomes well ingrained and the body can create connections between the process and a feeling of security. This will help the practice to be more readily available when times get tough. I can’t help but think about shooting free throws when I think about this concept. Most basketball players have their own established free-throw routines. They practice it over and over. They fine tune it and know it by heart. They do this because a free-throw can be a particularly stressful event. The player has to stand in front of all of the other players (peers), coaches (bosses), media (critiquing entity), and fans (people who like to be made happy) and shoot an “easy” shot. Oh, and sometimes that shot matters whole heck of a lot! It could be the difference between winning and losing. This stressful environment is why they practice it over and over and make it second nature. They do not have to think through all the steps. They get to step up to the line and “just shoot.” So, just like with free-throws, establishing a calming breathing routine when things are not stressful can help you “just breathe” when you really need it the most!
Additionally, implementing regular practice in breathing or grounding can help increase your ability to tune into your physical and emotional responses. These two skills are the building blocks of keeping our emotional experience at a healthy level. Therefore, regular practice with these techniques can help you when you need to immediately lower your emotional response and can help you to recognize the playing field when you are doing the slower work of making changes to the way you move through the world.
Try it out!
